Saturday, July 30, 2011

I believe....

I believe in God.
I believe that God created light out of darkness…
Life out of emptiness.
And I believe the scriptures in Genesis when they say that Elohim—God, powerful and almighty—created everything into being simply by speaking.
(I don’t mean this scientifically because I don’t think Genesis was intended to be a scientific proof, but I do mean that God’s nature and God’s essence and surpasses and eclipses any human inclination of factual familiarity.)
God is God and I am not.
But I do believe in God the father almighty.
I believe in Jesus Christ, the word of God made flesh, who died on a cross, conquered death and rose again to life everlasting.
I believe in the Holy Spirit who breathed like a thunderous wind at Pentecost and cannot be quenched in our own lives today.
Yes, I believe God;
a powerful, wondrous God.
Psalm 145 says:
I will extol you, my God and King,
   and bless your name for ever and ever.
Every day I will bless you,
   and praise your name for ever and ever.
Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
   God’s greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall laud your works to another,
   and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
   and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
The might of your awesome deeds shall be proclaimed,
   and I will declare your greatness.
They shall celebrate the fame of your abundant goodness,
   and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

Among other things, this Psalm proclaims God’s might and righteousness; God’s identity as the Conquering One—victorious over sin, and injustice, over death, cancer, depression, and worry conquering even our finances and our own moments of self-centeredness.
Our God is stronger than anything which would hold us back.
And as Paul says in Romans 8, I am convinced that nothing—NOTHING—in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Beautiful Prayer

“Your pastoral prayers are beautiful.”
            The compliment took me completely off guard—partially because I don’t consider prayer one of my strengths, but mostly because I often take corporate prayer for granted. When I’m the one sitting in the pew as laity, I tend to appreciate the time and space set aside for prayer more than the actual words offered by the pastor. Instead of listening to the pray-er, I force myself to pray. Similarly, when I’m the one praying aloud, I feverishly try to ignore the listening eyes focused in my direction. I know that pride is a weakness, and fiercely wary of rattling pretty words instead of genuinely sharing my heart. “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites who love the attention,” says a paraphrased Jesus in Matthew 6:5-8. “Oh, and stick to the point. Filibusters get old really quick.”
            I usually pretend I’m alone when I pray, but when people constantly point out that they’re listening, I can’t pretend—and I’m not certain that I should. If nothing else, shouldn’t prayer be honest? There’s a fine line between directing people’s attention and seeking it, but if written liturgy can effectively guide the voice of the people, why can’t prayer do the same? Affirmation from my congregation this summer gently led me to reflect on the purpose of prayer within corporate worship and the pastor’s role as one who prays.
I realized, first of all, that there is a significant difference between the prayers I offer up while driving alone and the prayers which occur in the sanctuary on a Sunday morning. In both instances, my voice and my words articulate the message, but prayers for the church and prayers on behalf of the congregation are very different. Individual prayers cover the church and should move between personal and community needs, but a pastoral prayer should claim them all. My personal voice is single, but my pastoral voice in worship is legion (in the non-demonic sense).  
One resource that helped frame the question of prayer in worship was Valerie Bridgeman Davis’ article “21 Questions, Revisited.”  Regarding liturgy and worship planning, Davis lists 21 questions for consideration—all pushing for intentional, theologically and biblically grounded, vibrant, and reflective communal worship. A few of them speak directly to prayer even though her actual word is ‘worship':
·         Is this worship contextually relevant? Does worship reflect the culture(s), lands, and peoples gathered for worship?
·         Is the worship participatory? Or, are there simply “talking heads” upfront that we may “tune out”?
·         Does worship pull people from the outer edges into the center?
·         Are litanies and prayers easy to enter, with refrains and rhythms that hold the central message in place?
·         Does this worship return us to the great celebration around the throne of God when the reign of God is fully and completely realized and we out of every tongue, language, tribe, nation, gender, and age, lift our voices in awesome wonder of God who is majestic, powerful, holy, generous, friend, glorious, wonderful, and worthy of all this worship?[1] 
Within the 60 min constraints of a typical worship service, anyone would have a difficult time incorporating all of Davis’ charges, but the daunting task highlights the notion that every moment in worship demands purpose. Every section, every word, every prayer in worship should grab people’s attention, push it out towards others, pull outsiders in, and lift everyone, together, to God. Far from ignoring people, Davis’ questions point constantly back towards the reality of the community which cannot be ignored. Not only should Sunday morning prayer incorporate the people, it must! If prayers in worship do not directly connect the needs and realities of all people present, then the liturgical purpose of corporate worship is lost.
The challenge for authenticity then becomes a question of whether or not the pray-er knows those very needs. In The Wounded Healer, Henri Nouwen identifies the pastor as an “articulator of inner events” who can speak not only to God, but to the heart and truth of the people themselves:
      “[Prayer] is the careful and sensitive articulation of what is happening in the community so that those who listen can say: ‘You say what I only suspected, you clearly express what I vaguely felt, you bring to the fore what I fearfully kept in the back of my mind. Yes, yes—you say who we are, you recognize our condition.’
      ...[praying] in this context means offering channels through which people can discover themselves, clarify their own experiences, and find niches in which the Word of God can take firm hold. In this context, liturgy is much more than ritual. It becomes celebration.”[2]
In addition to speaking on behalf of the whole community, Nouwen’s nuanced vision of prayer takes on a teaching component. Just as Romans 8:26-27 promises a spiritual understanding beyond our lack of words, Nouwen charges pastors to cut clarity from the void and boldly name the indefinite. Good prayers are needed in worship because they give words and shape the mindset of the congregation. Again, the communal voice takes on formative power. It’s one thing to pray for the poor. It’s quite another to say, “Lord, we are struggling. We are hurting for jobs and hungry for hope.”      
As I have learned this congregation, met the people, and heard their stories, I have learned how to pray for them and what to pray for. I've learned that unless I care for and love and listen to my future congregations, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to authentically pray with them. Just as worship should frame the way we live, love should frame the way we pray (and vice versa).  When a congregation is standing (or kneeling or dancing) before God, united, speaking and seeing through one multifaceted prayer, then the church can't help but be honest, authentic, hopeful, selfless, and completely focused on God--THAT is a beautiful prayer!!.


[1] Valerie Bridgeman Davis, The Companion to The Africana Worship Book (Nashville: Discipleship Resources, 2007) 21-13.
[2] Henri Nouwen, The Wounded Healer (New York: Image, 2010) 43-44.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Holy Holy Holy

Some of my favorite moments this summer have been in the sanctuary when no one else was around; moments where I could fall at the altar without feeling watched, judged, or distracting. (I think the latter is my biggest fear in corporate worship.)

I especially loved an afternoon where I just opened a hymnal and filled the room with a capella song. Just me. Singing for God. :)

I hope and pray with all my heart that I will never forget or lose these moments in ministry.


P.S. "Holy Holy Holy" makes for a great blues rendition! Who'd have thought my worship song would be jazz? 

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Holy Smackdown



I think theology needs to be a collaborative effort, so this week in preparation for this morning’s text, I’ve been getting opinions on a theologically rich question. I’d love to have a conversation about it, but for now I just want to turn this question over for your thoughts:
In a wrestling match (to the death) between Pastor Al and Kevin, who do you think would win?

It’s been a really fun question to ask—partially because neither of them knew the poll was floating around—but also because some of the responses have been hilarious (I got to ask both spouses, for example, and one voted for her husband and the other voted immediately against) but it’s also been interesting to see the deliberation (“on one hand, Kevin is faster and younger, but Al has the advantage of size and wisdom…”).
Overall, it’s been a fairly competitive and heated race, but as of Friday, I have to declare that the winner, with 63% of the congregation, is………Al. (sorry Kevin).

With a few people, I took the poll a step further and said, “Ok. What about Al vs. God? Who would win then?”

So far, God has won every time. My husband (the king of manly hypotheticals) got a kick out of this question—especially when I flipped it back on him and said, “yeah? What about you? Think you could wrestle with God?”

So Matt, ever the sarcastic show-off, says “Of course! I could throw down; show YHWH a thing or two…”  
 And then (I love my husband) he immediately backpedals, “uh oh…I hope that doesn’t go on my permanent record….I can see my life playing back on the judgment day and then God will pause the giant screen and tower over me with a rumbling voice and be like, ‘Were you there when I created the earth? Do you know the secrets of the deep and the hairs on each person’s head? You really think you can take me?’” 

I mean, let’s face it: If we were to imagine a WWJD smackdown with God almighty, infinite in power in one corner—even if the opponent is a 300lb beefcake like me, it’s not going to be much of a fight. I think that’s the attitude we usually have when we approach this text.

It’s certainly the most common artistic interpretation. One of the most famous images of ‘Jacob Wrestling’ is an 1855 engraving by Gustave Doré.  (I’m going to back up a few steps and point out that this Genesis text is full of complicated questions—one of which is the identity if the wrestler. Depending on your translation, the wrestler will be called a man or an angel…and some scholars point out that the Hebrew text never explicitly says “Jacob wrestles with God”…but I think it’s God. The wrestler ends up blessing Jacob and changing his name—those are only things God can do). Anyways, Doré clearly depicts God as an angel, but note that Jacob seems to be the only one struggling—he’s on the edge with muscles tense, but the angel seems calm and unruffled.   
 

In this other image from an unknown artist, the fight is depicted even more ridiculously. God is huge and Holy (with fork-like feet for some reason) while Jacob is little and skinny with his arms stretched in a futile punch that bounces off without effect. Rather than struggling, God seems to be patiently waiting for Jacob to calm down. There’s no doubt that God is all-powerful and all-mighty. 

This painter has captured God’s identity as the Conquering One—the God who is victorious over sin, and injustice, over death, cancer, depression, and worry; conquering even our finances and our own moments of self-centeredness. God can conquer it all!

 
But I’d like to look at another artistic rendering of this text. One that goes verse-by-verse.  

I’m not vouching for the historical accuracy of Lego-people, but I do think we’re missing something if we pretend the struggle in this story isn’t epic. It lasts through the night and even after his hip is broken, Jacob isn’t the one who says, “Let me go!”—that’s God. Surprisingly, the God depicted in this story is not one of omnipotence, but one who wrestles. It’s a conundrum—a radical reversal of our expectations—and we can respond in one of three ways:   

1.      We can lean on the angel image in Dore’s engraving and say, “The text is ambiguous and God is powerful, so this wrestler must not be God.” …but Jacob thinks it’s God. And who are we to say what God is and is not? We need to be very careful that our ideas of God are a reflection of God’s revealed self and not just a projection of our own best thoughts. In other words, our understanding of God needs to be grounded in all of scripture—not just our ideas about what god should be.   

2. Our second option is to sidestep the physical power issue and say that God’s wrestling match with Jacob was a spiritual one. The actual wrestling becomes a nonissue and God’s power remains intact, but the text clearly says that Jacob is injured in this struggle and he walks away with a limp—a physical sign forever commemorated by Israel’s dietary laws. Certainly, as we read this story, we need to remember that Jacob is about to return to his brother, Esau (the brother that Jacob wronged and ran from) so yeah, there is spiritual struggle at work here, but that can’t take away from the fact that this is a God who initiates a real, physical, encounter. If anything, the spiritual connotations enhance the physical implications….

 When Jacob first ran away from Esau in Genesis 28, God sent Jacob a beautiful dream about a ladder between heaven and earth—an image of hope and harmony; a promise of connectedness. But four chapters later, Jacob is returning to his brother—finally seeking peace and reconciliation and God decides that a vision isn’t enough. It’s not enough for God to just say, “Hey Jacob! I’m here—I’m kind of a big deal.” No, God wants to get involved. God wants to touch Jacob—in his strength, in his weakness—and God is willing to fight for that—even if it means holding back for our sake.

Which brings us to our third option: we can accept and struggle with this new image of God—the God who wrestles with us; the God who steps outside of omnipotence in order to be on our level. We can say that God is God beyond our definitions and outside of our boxes. Our God is Mighty and Powerful but also unexpected. Here and ready now to burst into our realities and stand with us in our struggles.

The more I think about this new image of God, the more I’m struck by the fact that this redefinition of strength—this wrestling God—isn’t new at all. We just usually call him Jesus. Jesus, the word made flesh, who emptied himself of divinity in order to reach into the reality of our brokenness. In Jesus, we see God fully engaged in human weakness even to the point of suffering and fatality. THIS is an unexpected God. But again, God surprises us. In Jesus,we see not only the same God who chooses weakness in order to be with us, but we also see the powerful God of victory when Christ  wrestles death itself and walks away victorious. God turns a sign of weakness into life. Jacob’s limp was a proclamation which said “My God wrestled with me and I survived.” Likewise, Jesus had scars on his hands and feet, so that Thomas could touch brokenness and say, “My God lives.”

 There’s a huge difference between our calm, collected, neat and pretty ideas about God and the messy, complicated reality of THE God who breaks into our facades and wrestles into our weaknesses. As Pastor Al said a few Sundays back, “God doesn’t tap us politely on the shoulder to get our attention. God is jealous.’ Jacob teaches that God tackles us and wants to be a part of our every day brokenness, weakness, and struggle. 

Likewise, when we talk about the kingdom of God or the reality of Jesus’ forgiveness, we can’t just paint pretty pictures with our Sunday morning words. We have to get involved and fight for that to be a touchable reality—we have to let God struggle with us—in our hearts, in our communities, our workplaces, our bank accounts, our hospitals, our bedrooms, our kitchen tables ….Just as we allow scripture to define our understanding of God, we need to allow God to shape the way we understand ourselves. 

So let us say, “Yes, God, wrestle with us. Come into every aspect of our lives and make our faith real. Let us be a generation who seeks your face, God of Jacob, but also a generation who seeks the faces of our brothers and sisters. Struggle with us through our brokenness for You are great.”   
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.




Monday, July 18, 2011

Order of (Staff) Worship

Opening Blessing:May the Triune God who created, called, and equipped each of us for the ministries of this church, grant us renewal and energize our spirits for the coming day. For Joy comes in the morning. Amen.

Opening Hymn #62: "All Creatures of Our God and King" (verses 1,3,5)

Prayer for Renewal of the Church (UM Hymnal #574)
 
All read: 
Renew your church, Lord, 
your people in this land.
Save us from cheap words
and from self-deception in your service.
In the power of your Spirit
transform us,
and shape us by your cross. 
Amen.
 
Scripture Reading:  Ezekiel 37:1-14

Centering Hymn #393: "Spirit of the Living God"

 The Church Worker's Prayer for Renewal*
In a moment of silence, pray this prayer with all your heart:
 I am your servant, God.
Where you want me to go, I will go.
Point the direction. Show me the way.
You called me to work at this church;
To be a part of this team.

Send us patience when we're out of it.
Send us the enthusiasm when we don't feel enthusiastic.
Send us ears to hear the things that aren't being said.
Send us eyes to see beneath the surface.
 

Rattle our bones.
Help us face the facts here at Fuquay-Varina and in the United Methodist Church at large.
Make us angry over what we’ve failed to do
and give us courage to strive toward the future you yet have for us.
Recreate and renew us.
Blow your breath once again into our nostrils and raise us up to truly be the Body of Christ.
 

Offer up each staff person by name--
pray for their ministries and lift them up for renewal...
Pray for individual members and needs of the congregation...
Pray for church members that give you a hard time...
Pray for community needs...
Pray for your own needs...


All conclude aloud:

We are your servants, Lord.
Where you want us to go, we will go.
Point the direction. Show us the way.
Amen.

 

Closing Hymn #420: "Breathe on Me, Breath of God"

Benediction:  Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. (Hebrews 13:20-21)
Words and hugs of peace.


*Based on "The Youthworker's Prayer" from Steven Case's The Book of Uncommon Prayer (pg 108).


Saturday, July 2, 2011

"Sermonizer" (a recapitulation of Brittany Spears)

This has been stuck in my head for a few days now and it cracks me up. Mostly because the original song was called "Womanizer" ....and because I know a lot of the girls in this video.

Water for Camels!!!! (my first summer sermon)

“Water for Camels”
A Sermon on Genesis 24
July 2, 2011
Fuquay-Varina United Methodist Church

Our text this morning is not a dissertation on faith or the nature of God. It’s not a 10-step guide for how to live your life or a list of sins which should be avoided.
Our text this morning is a narrative. A story.
We just had vacation Bible school this past week and one of my favorite moments was on Wednesday when I got to lead storytime with the preschoolers.  All these cute little kids came in and sat criss-cross-applesauce on the carpet and they looked at me (with their pigtails and their round little faces)—and wanted to know what the story was going to be for that day.

In any other setting, we would have called it a Bible study, but Wednesday morning, it was a storytime. And the Bible was exciting. 
Somewhere along the line, a lot of us have lost that joy for God’s word. Or we’ve just forgotten that scripture can be exciting in the first place.

So in the spirit of Vacation Bible School, I read this morning’s text in a children’s Bible… It was called “the story of how Isaac gets a wife” …and it was cute. Very simple (“Abraham had a son named Isaac who needed a wife. So Abraham sent a servant to find a wife for Isaac. After traveling to a faraway well, the servant prayed to God and said, “God of my master, whoever waters my camels, please make her the right woman for Isaac.” And then Rebecca came. She said, “I will draw water for you and your camels.” And the servant rejoiced and praised God because he had found the right woman. )

Now on one hand, I think simple is good. It’s important to teach things so that even our youngest disciples can learn God,

 but too many of us take Abraham and Isaac, David and Goliath, Noah, Deborah,  Esther…we take these stories, we copy-paste them into our happy childhood memories and we leave them in Sunday school.  We forget that these stories—these scriptures—have deep theological, practical, and spiritual meaning for our every day grown up lives. These aren't just bedtime stories....These are the heroes and ancestors that taught Jesus how to live. These are the people whose hearts, lives, and relationships formed the foundation for our faith. This is the word of God for the people of God.
 Yes, Isaac gets a wife here in this story and the last verse in this chapter tells us that he loves her (which is happy and romantic) but it also tells us that, because of Rebekah, "Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death." With that verse, this story becomes one that stands against loneliness. We don't talk about loneliness very often in this church or with each other, but it's a bitter and present reality in this world--a reality which is not according to God's plan for us. Loneliness is not God's desire for you. Now I'm not saying that marriage is God's answer for loneliness, but I do think community is. I do think a church--this church--should stand with those who mourn and walk alongside those who are alone. And on the flip side, if you're lonely, then this community has a place for you. Reach out.
But this text also talks a lot about camels—a detail which I didn’t notice ‘til I read it three or four times.  In the whole book of Genesis, camels are mentioned 22 times. 15 of those are in this chapter. That’s pretty significant. The servant takes ten camels with him. The camels kneel by the well. When things are repeated—especially in the Old Testament—it’s because they’re meant to be remembered. And this whole story of the servant praying and Rebekah watering the camels—the whole thing is repeated later when the servant tells the story again, so it’s meant to be noticed.

And the camels—the camels are meant to pop out because they shift the focus from the characters themselves and bring attention to what Rebekah does. In this chapter, it’s important not only that Rebekah was chosen. It’s also important to notice why the servant notices her.
 The servant could have chosen anything. He could have said, “all right, we’re lookin’ for the chick with sweet aviators and sparkly Toms.” Or he could have said “gimme that girl with her hair in a mess. Sleepy little smile and her head on my chest…” (Eh? Any Country music fans out there?)

But servant isn’t looking for just anyone. He wants the kind of person who will bring water to camels…not a small task. Remember Rebekah's working with a well--not a faucet and if there are ten camels and each camel can each drink up to 20 gallons of water at a time (thank you, google!) this girl is making many, many trips. Rebekah is of outstanding character.

But I think the servant wanted high standards. By marrying Abraham's only son, Rebekah becomes a part of the Abrahamic covenant. That means that God's special blessing to Abraham’s family would extend to her. When he’s at the well, this servant is looking for a woman worthy of God’s chosen people. And he finds her.

By offering to water the camels of a total stranger, Rebekah demonstrates radical hospitality. She shows compassionate. Strength. Willingness to serve.  She sees a need and she steps up.

But Genesis 24 doesn’t stop there. Not only is Rebekah the type of person who waters camels, but we’re also told us that she's beautiful, wellspoken, from the right family, a virgin. When Isaac and Rebekah finally marry, Isaac loves her. She’s perfect—of course God would choose her.

Rebekah is the example—the typecast—for how all of God’s people should act. She sets the bar (writes the resume) for what it takes to be worthy of God’s blessing.

She’s good. But she’s also hard to live up to.
I don't know about you, but I don't always do the right thing. I don't always take the extra step for hospitality's sake. I don't always hear the cry of the needy. I don't always love (or even notice) my neighbor...and even when I do the right things, I never feel like it's enough. Maybe it’s because I’m a perfectionist, but I never feel like I'm good enough for God.

And I’ll bet I’m not the only one who feels that way.

Luckily, there's another biblical story about a woman who stands by a well. The story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman in John 4 follows the same pattern as our Genesis text from this morning, but it's radically reversed. This new Rebekah has no name. The Samaritan woman is from the wrong family, she's sarcastic, an adulteress. For all intents and purposes, this woman doesn't have any of the right qualities, but Jesus chose her anyways. Out of all the people in the gospel of John, Jesus reveals himself first to this nameless nobody. Where Rebekah was brought into the Old Covenant because of her actions, the Samaritan woman is chosen by grace. God's new covenant--God's NOW covenant--is based on grace.

That means it's not up to us. That means that we don't have to come to God perfect.

A covenant of grace means that our actions don't make us worthy to God. A covenant of grace is not about water for camels. Granted, the camels in this story are important because God does expect us to live a certain way, God does expect us to care for creation and see the needs of the people around us, but no matter how great our actions may be, God will never love us less or more.

That means that no matter what we've done or what we haven't done, no matter the guilt, no matter the greed, no matter the sin, no matter the struggle. God looks at us--like Isaac --and says "you are loved. You are chosen."

A few summers ago, I worked at a Presbyterian Church and there was a sixth grade girl named Haley. (loved her. she was wonderful)  Well, one day Haley came up to me and said "Ms. Emily! Ms Emily! I made you something!!!" And she gave me this drawing of what was apparently me--and I gotta be honest with you, for a middle school kid--it wasn't a very good drawing. But I didn’t look very long at Haley’s drawing. What touched my heart was Haley's face when she handed me that picture....her smile. Haley made that picture beautiful.

We can try and try and try to do everything right. To water camels like Rebekah. We can stretch out the canvas that is our lives and scribble all over it, and whether it’s beautiful art or a total mess, when we give our lives to God and say "look, God! Look what I did for your!" --God looks at all of our messy crayon scribble and God cares more about us than about what we did.

No matter what we've done or what we haven't done, no matter the good, no matter the guilt, no matter the sin, no matter the struggle. God looks at us--like Isaac looked at Rebekah--and says "you are loved. You are chosen. You are welcome to this table of grace."