Thomas Merton Prayer

My Lord God,

I have no idea where I am going
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,
And the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, 

I will not fear, 

for you are ever with me
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

17th Century Nun's Prayer

Lord, Thou knowest better than I know myself, that I am growing older and will someday be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody’s affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all, but Thou knowest Lord that I want a few friends at the end.
Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing, and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others’ pains, but help me to endure them with patience.
I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessing cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.
Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a Saint – some of them are so hard to live with – but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people. And, give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.
AMEN

Cancer is So Limited...

It cannot cripple Love

It cannot shatter Hope

It cannot corrode Faith

It cannot destroy Peace

It cannot kill Friendship

It cannot suppress Memories

It cannot silence Courage

It cannot invade the Soul

It cannot steal Eternal Life

It cannot quench the Spirit.

-Author Unknown

Yup. Funny

THIS is my new favorite website!!

and ...this one is funny too

And....let's not forget this old classic favorite!

Power and Authority

Another great article from my super sup.: Power Games.

The section on table-space reminds me of Morse's book, Making Room for Leadership.

And Merritt's article brings mixed feelings and highlights a little of my own uncertainty. On one hand, as a young, 5'2" female, I'm very conscious of being "less powered" (I refuse to use 'powerless!'). On the other, I'm not really sure that I want it! I don't want to not do things out of fear...Like clearing the table at a previous potluck. Should I not do that in the future? Will that servant-image shake my already tenuous authority? Isn't the servant-image (exemplified by passing papers and pouring coffee)--isn't that EXACTLY what pastors should be emulating? Or is such an example only effective when it's done from one who already HAS authority?

The story of Jesus washing the disciples' feet is hailed as a wondrous example of servanthood and hospitality! ....and yet Abigail washes servants' feet in1 Samuel 25:40-42. Why is that less remarkable?

Samuel and the Sermon Project

Julie (my 2012 field ed. supervisor) has asked me to write a sermon every week.

"You need to learn how to write a sermon when you've had a bad day--or when you're swamped." she says.

And she's right. After all, one of my summer goals is to experience the "rhythm of pastoral life" and if I have my own church next summer (I can't believe I can write that!!) I could easily spend all my Saturday nights on last-minute sermons.

So it's good that I'm writing a sermon each week.

But I'm indecisive and time is of the essence. (That's one of the reasons why procrastination is so wonderful. I don't have time to deliberate, so the process takes half the time...).
  
So my decision this week is to draw lots. I wrote my four sermon directions on post-it notes, shuffled them, and begged the Spirit to guide my hand!

My options (for 1 Samuel 8)

•   Focus on God in this text (instead of the sinful crowd who rejected God)-- preach God's ability and willingess to work all things for good. (sure, kingship wasn't God's plan, and the Israelites messed up, but God redirected their kingship. Eventually, we get back to "Jesus is Lord!" (We can't mess anything up beyond God's ability to reconcile) :. Mosaic. Justification. ...free will means God lets us make mistakes.  (but eschatology means redemption)
• Focus on God as the One who doesn't leave us--despite our constant rejection; God as longsuffering, patient, and forgiving (looking at God's outcry in Hosea 11 and the story of the prodigal son)
• Focus on Samuel and study the implications for leadership in this text. How do you lead a group of people who won't listen to God? (one key element here is recognizing that lay people ARE called to lead--in work environments and social groups. So how?)...God tells Samuel not to be offended, to listen to the people. (perhaps even loving them?)
• God's REASONS for not wanting a king. A king means war. (this would be an overt AGAINST the 'angry and violent' stereotype for the OT). God's way is peace and reconciliation.  

The lots pushed me towards the first option, but the others are worth at least contemplating...