I
had an epiphany today. I got really frustrated/morally disturbed at school and
actually voiced my concerns rather than waiting for someone else to. (Which
didn’t go over well, much to my chagrin.)
And
I thought to myself, I didn’t used to be this way. I haven’t always felt
compelled to speak up when I thought something harmful was happening,
especially if it meant acting alone. Even with widespread social injustices I
would get upset but I would also feel like that’s just the way of the world, so
why bother trying to do anything.
But
I think the kingdom of God sermon series changed my perspective. I used to
believe my actions didn’t really matter—that whether I acted helpfully or
harmfully, the earth was just doomed...and salvation (at some future date)
would either take us elsewhere or something. I don’t even know. But my attitude
was defeatist at best, regardless of what I thought of the end of days.
Anyhow,
now my working perspective is that salvation has occurred so that the work of
creating the kingdom could begin and continue here and now, which means my
actions do matter, which means if I see something unjust (including and
especially my own behavior), I’m going to feel compelled to call it out or
question it or try to change it, which means being engaged with the world,
which means being more delighted and more heartbroken, which means feeling more
alive.
Huh,
just had another thought—is this what it means to be alive in Christ?
*shrugs*
I
realize as I’m writing this that it feels like a journal entry that’s helping
me process my emotional state today, so thank you for reading it.
And
I wanted to share how important that series was for me, even though I’m only
realizing it now.
