Kale Soup and Pumpkin Bread

A pastor friend of mine was struggling with her congregation.
...unsure of her place. unsure of the fit.
Feeling unwanted, unloved, unliked
(sometime, churches are NOT the most loving places--to guests, to one another, to pastors...)

Then she was sick.

And a church member reached out to say that they had made her "kale soup and pumpkin bread"

Which was a beautiful life-giving thing for her (a vegetarian).

It meant that people cared. That people cared for her (on the term of her needs).
It was a warm and home-like sense of, "they know me here!!!!"
Which is exactly what you need when you're sick.

It also meant that the entire church wasn't defined by the angry, critical, voices.
She could choose to define the quality of the congregation based on kale soup and pumpkin bread.

Notes on Nathanael's Story

Another sermon where the text had more possibilities than could possibly be preached:

• Evangelism. empowering OTHERS. (calling Nathanael) --Philip invites him. Philip literally echos Jesus' own words: 'come and see' (how does this look in a world full of skeptics?)

• Active discipleship. Following JESUS-- not the pastor or anyone else.
  It's not enough to believe. We need to follow.
  --angels ascending and descending: faith is a two-way street. God reaches out to us. We respond
  
• Called--despite out shortcomings. what is a disciple? "I'm not because a disciple is this BIG thing..."
  ...except that God works in the small, the insignificant, the unworthy.
  (at this point in John) "Jesus has performed nor miracle, showed no sign, engaged in no teaching... He is just Jesus from Nazareth, the son of Joseph."
  In Nathanael's view, Jesus could be nothing more than a simple Jew from an insignificant village in Galilee. The Messiah would certainly be of more prominent parentage and come from a more significant town.
  
• Who is Jesus? Revelation/Epiphany/Praise(can anything good come from Nazareth?)
  ...the answer is 'yes!'
  --> him whom Moses in the law and the prophets wrote
  --> Rabbi, Son of God! King of Israel!
  --> source of revelation and the opening of heaven on earth; the bridge between God and humanity
  
• Importance of Honest/Authenticity
  In a 'fake news' world where you don't know who to trust
  In a photoshop world where photos are false
  In a world where Christians ARE hypocrites (we are)
  Philip is without guile. Authentic. honest. genuine. --but not without flaw

Jesus can read his heart--and change it
God knows you. KNOWS you. KNOWS the unworthiness... even before we do.
...and calls you anyway.

• Short-sighted vision and judgment--Nathanael scoffs and judges.
  John 6:7 --Philip counts the cost of feeding the 5,000:  ‘Six months’ wages would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little.’ (Jesus shows him otherwise)
  --but Jesus promises that he'll see even greater things. 
  -= That scoffing is a sin. It's an arrogant failure to notice the work of God.
  (Jesus had walked by him and Philip didn't even notice)
  An invitation to see beyond our limitations.
  Choose to follow Jesus.
  Leave your prejudice behind.

We just finished an amazing 7-week course called "Tell the Story"
We discussed God's story, stories in the Bible, and we shared our own stories about experiences or moments when "our story" and "God's story" were breathtakingly intertwined. (Personal experiences of God at work in our lives)

In our last session, we watched "cardboard testimonies" and then made and shared our own.
(While "I love to tell the story" played in the background).

A much-needed letter of affirmation

I had an epiphany today. I got really frustrated/morally disturbed at school and actually voiced my concerns rather than waiting for someone else to. (Which didn’t go over well, much to my chagrin.)

And I thought to myself, I didn’t used to be this way. I haven’t always felt compelled to speak up when I thought something harmful was happening, especially if it meant acting alone. Even with widespread social injustices I would get upset but I would also feel like that’s just the way of the world, so why bother trying to do anything. 

But I think the kingdom of God sermon series changed my perspective. I used to believe my actions didn’t really matter—that whether I acted helpfully or harmfully, the earth was just doomed...and salvation (at some future date) would either take us elsewhere or something. I don’t even know. But my attitude was defeatist at best, regardless of what I thought of the end of days. 

Anyhow, now my working perspective is that salvation has occurred so that the work of creating the kingdom could begin and continue here and now, which means my actions do matter, which means if I see something unjust (including and especially my own behavior), I’m going to feel compelled to call it out or question it or try to change it, which means being engaged with the world, which means being more delighted and more heartbroken, which means feeling more alive.

Huh, just had another thought—is this what it means to be alive in Christ? 

*shrugs*

I realize as I’m writing this that it feels like a journal entry that’s helping me process my emotional state today, so thank you for reading it. 

And I wanted to share how important that series was for me, even though I’m only realizing it now.

Enemies and Ice Chips

I had my day all scheduled out, but an overly-long funeral put me significantly behind.
And then, when I arrived at the ICU to visit my ONE parishioner in the hospital, the nurse told me that I had to wait at least 30 minutes for shift change. I had a friend in town and was supposed to meet up with them, so I was NOT happy.

To make matters worse, this particular patient was someone that I had struggled to love.
My very first week at the church, she had barged into my office with angry opinions and we had been locked in power struggles ever since. She got the better of my temper on a few occasions and, once or twice, I had called her my nemesis. So, of course, I begrudged the inconvenience of that extra time (even blamed her for it, slightly: "of course she would mess up this day for me"--an irrational reaction, but my thought nonetheless).

So I left to get coffee with my friend and stubbornly returned to the hospital ('stubborn' is the right word because my reaction was more like "she is NOT going to win this one. I WILL visit and I'll kill her with kindness because I'm the better person.")    ...

This woman who had been in (my perception) so formidable and bitter and antagonistic... was curled up in a hospital bed and weakly crying out for ice.
And I saw her.
I'm not sure if she knew who I was, but as I sat there singing hymns, I found myself deeply drawn to compassion and love for this child of God.

It was grace for me to sing.
It was grace for me to hold that tiny sponge swab and gently fish one ice chip at a time out of the Styrofoam cup and place it on to her lips. It felt almost sacramental to be sharing such a small and intimate thing with her.

As I sang, I was overcome by the raw knowledge of God's overwhelming love towards this woman. Despite my previous frustration and anger, I saw Christ in her and with her.
It was a moment of tender mercy.

 And my heart was strangely warmed.
(enough to melt some of the ice)

Prayer Stations: Listening to God

When Samuel hears the call of God, his response is "Speak, Lord, your servant is listening." (1 Samuel 3)

Rather than preach an entire sermon about listening to God, I wanted people to try it. To experience and/or practice listening. 

So we worshipped with a series of prayer stations:

Scripture-Speaking. What might God be saying to you? ...choose a scripture and use a stone to mark where you are.

What keeps you from hearing/recognizing God's voice? Put your distractions on the cross--visibly blocking it--then pray for space and remove them  

Open station for creative reflection...

...and several others that I didn't photograph (breath prayer, silent meditation, imaginitive narrative where God calls YOUR name--and you give a written response, communal reflection: "how do YOU listen to God?")

Overall, I think the experience (and response) was good from the congregation. 

In the sanctuary services, most people remained in their seats and focused in the meditation in the bulletin, so my own response from God came when I complained about all the work for the unused stations. "Do you want people to hear you? Or Me?" 

The contemporary service had mason jars and small stones for the scripture-speaking station, so when people chose a scripture, there was an audible 'plink' throughout the room. The sound of filling jars, for me, affirmed that Gods word never comes back empty. (Isaiah 55:11). One worshipped loved the sound because she said it meant that people had found their verse. :) 

It was a lot of work to set up, so if I did this again, I would HAVE to enlist help (meaning more delegating and less procrastination). But that's a resounding theme for almost everything I do...

All Saints Day 2015

Each year, we read the names of church members who've passed away the previous year. It's a beautiful and meaningful tradition, but it still leaves of lots of names (I know several folks in my church grieving family who aren't members of our church and I still think we should remember others who died several years--even centuries--ago. 

So we allowed each person to remember. After recieving communion, the congregation was invited to choose a cross or a dove shape--both symbols of resurrection hope--and write a name or names of those who we hope live in Christ. 

Then we hung them up! 

Gold cord hung around the sanctuary to visibly express that we are surrounded by the great cloud of witnesses:

And in the family life center, we nailed string to room dividers:

I honestly just wanted a quick and simple way to hang the names, but the finished design was really powerful to see:

Which is exactly how it should be. The communion of saints brings the cross into further clarity for us.