Fits and Starts

I woke this morning with a jolting realization: I forgot to reset the air conditioner at the church!!! 
Our church has an old chiller system we've been nursing for a while.
The new one arrives in two weeks, but the old one--when it does work--is the noisiest thing you've ever encountered (seriously: it's called "the screaming eagle").

The decision to shut it down was risky, but we had an outdoor gathering less than three feet away and needed the quiet. So we shut it down manually. Red button now for an hour of quiet, green button later to cool the building. Except I forgot. 

So here I am this morning, mashing that little green button for the hundred-or-so folks who will use the building today. At first, nothing happened. A slough of error messages on the diagnostic panel needed to clear ("yes, I KNOW compressor #2 is out-- but we need you to kick on and work for two more weeks. Please?").
Finally, the system fired up with a lumbering screech ...only to stop with another "dire warning" on its screen.
So I started again and the cycle repeated: clear panel, reset system, wait, hear it start (hope that it keeps going). There was no way to hurry or force it faster, so I had to wait and hope for the best.
I finally brought a chair into the AC cage because twenty minutes passed and I figured it would be a while. 

Kevin Watson uses the phrase "fits and starts" to describe Christian discipleship. We always experience fits and starts when we try to grow in following Christ. And it occurred to me that this is exactly what God does with me. Time and time again, God sits patiently with me as I struggle and awkwardly lumber to do the very thing I am designed to do. Over and over, God clears away what holds me back, resets the system and waits for me to click into gear. And sometimes I do...for a while, at least. But God knows not to walk away. Sitting patiently. Because there are folks who NEED me to do what I'm created to do. I'm still awaiting the fullness of re-creation (that might take more than two weeks) but, in the meantime, I'm growing in fits and starts.
And the air is finally working here at the church.

(from June 30, 2017)