Fits and Starts

I woke this morning with a jolting realization: I forgot to reset the air conditioner at the church!!! 
Our church has an old chiller system we've been nursing for a while.
The new one arrives in two weeks, but the old one--when it does work--is the noisiest thing you've ever encountered (seriously: it's called "the screaming eagle").

The decision to shut it down was risky, but we had an outdoor gathering less than three feet away and needed the quiet. So we shut it down manually. Red button now for an hour of quiet, green button later to cool the building. Except I forgot. 

So here I am this morning, mashing that little green button for the hundred-or-so folks who will use the building today. At first, nothing happened. A slough of error messages on the diagnostic panel needed to clear ("yes, I KNOW compressor #2 is out-- but we need you to kick on and work for two more weeks. Please?").
Finally, the system fired up with a lumbering screech ...only to stop with another "dire warning" on its screen.
So I started again and the cycle repeated: clear panel, reset system, wait, hear it start (hope that it keeps going). There was no way to hurry or force it faster, so I had to wait and hope for the best.
I finally brought a chair into the AC cage because twenty minutes passed and I figured it would be a while. 

Kevin Watson uses the phrase "fits and starts" to describe Christian discipleship. We always experience fits and starts when we try to grow in following Christ. And it occurred to me that this is exactly what God does with me. Time and time again, God sits patiently with me as I struggle and awkwardly lumber to do the very thing I am designed to do. Over and over, God clears away what holds me back, resets the system and waits for me to click into gear. And sometimes I do...for a while, at least. But God knows not to walk away. Sitting patiently. Because there are folks who NEED me to do what I'm created to do. I'm still awaiting the fullness of re-creation (that might take more than two weeks) but, in the meantime, I'm growing in fits and starts.
And the air is finally working here at the church.

(from June 30, 2017)

Another Unexpected Encounter

I tried a new setting on the church alarm, so—in anticipation of accidentally tripping the sensor, I preemptively called the Alarm company. I gave them my passcode, identified myself as Pastor, and asked if they had time to sit on the phone while I walked out of the office. They did have time (apparently it’s a slow night for alarms when it’s below freezing) and I was able to exit without issue, but the person on the other end of the line randomly asked me about the church. Apparently they (their spouse) we’re looking for a church home. I did nothing to start the conversation. In fact, the person apologized for “talking shop” ad I was headed home. Again, a Holy conversation simply fell into my lap! “You will see greater things...”

(community class name here) and the name of Jesus

Someone came into the office today to sign up for a community class.

Unable to pay more than half of it, though, they started to walk away.

I explained that the mission for the whole Wednesday class program was to connect with the community and empower folks to live life abundantly in Christ.

"The faith part," I said, "the Jesus part--is unashamedly us. We're not pushing or requiring that from anyone. so if this class will help fill you with abundance, we will scholarship the rest. Please don't let limited finances hold you back from participating." 

As I expected, the person decided to sign up and pay what they could.

I did not expect them to turn around and ask the volunteer at the front desk about Jesus.
but they did.

Apparently, I was the third person this week to 'bring up Jesus.' 

They had always believed in the existence of God and knew that a man named Jesus lived in Israel, but never had a relationship or a connection with him and wanted to know if we could talk about that... 

I was like, "Are you kidding me?!?! Be still my heart!!"

If I'm being honest, the faith comment was not intentional or strategic on my part. It flowed out of a habitual repetition of the church's mission statement: "to empower others to live life abundantly in Christ."
But talk about a moment where God burst open my expectations:

"You will see greater things than these."

I believe this person will be in worship on Sunday, so let's be very intentional about offering welcome to everyone who walks through our doors. You never know who is waiting to hear the name 'Jesus' for the third time (and you never know if you're the one to have those first two conversations so that the third can be fruitful).

Kale Soup and Pumpkin Bread

A pastor friend of mine was struggling with her congregation.
...unsure of her place. unsure of the fit.
Feeling unwanted, unloved, unliked
(sometime, churches are NOT the most loving places--to guests, to one another, to pastors...)

Then she was sick.

And a church member reached out to say that they had made her "kale soup and pumpkin bread"

Which was a beautiful life-giving thing for her (a vegetarian).

It meant that people cared. That people cared for her (on the term of her needs).
It was a warm and home-like sense of, "they know me here!!!!"
Which is exactly what you need when you're sick.

It also meant that the entire church wasn't defined by the angry, critical, voices.
She could choose to define the quality of the congregation based on kale soup and pumpkin bread.

Notes on Nathanael's Story

Another sermon where the text had more possibilities than could possibly be preached:

• Evangelism. empowering OTHERS. (calling Nathanael) --Philip invites him. Philip literally echos Jesus' own words: 'come and see' (how does this look in a world full of skeptics?)

• Active discipleship. Following JESUS-- not the pastor or anyone else.
  It's not enough to believe. We need to follow.
  --angels ascending and descending: faith is a two-way street. God reaches out to us. We respond
  
• Called--despite out shortcomings. what is a disciple? "I'm not because a disciple is this BIG thing..."
  ...except that God works in the small, the insignificant, the unworthy.
  (at this point in John) "Jesus has performed nor miracle, showed no sign, engaged in no teaching... He is just Jesus from Nazareth, the son of Joseph."
  In Nathanael's view, Jesus could be nothing more than a simple Jew from an insignificant village in Galilee. The Messiah would certainly be of more prominent parentage and come from a more significant town.
  
• Who is Jesus? Revelation/Epiphany/Praise(can anything good come from Nazareth?)
  ...the answer is 'yes!'
  --> him whom Moses in the law and the prophets wrote
  --> Rabbi, Son of God! King of Israel!
  --> source of revelation and the opening of heaven on earth; the bridge between God and humanity
  
• Importance of Honest/Authenticity
  In a 'fake news' world where you don't know who to trust
  In a photoshop world where photos are false
  In a world where Christians ARE hypocrites (we are)
  Philip is without guile. Authentic. honest. genuine. --but not without flaw

Jesus can read his heart--and change it
God knows you. KNOWS you. KNOWS the unworthiness... even before we do.
...and calls you anyway.

• Short-sighted vision and judgment--Nathanael scoffs and judges.
  John 6:7 --Philip counts the cost of feeding the 5,000:  ‘Six months’ wages would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little.’ (Jesus shows him otherwise)
  --but Jesus promises that he'll see even greater things. 
  -= That scoffing is a sin. It's an arrogant failure to notice the work of God.
  (Jesus had walked by him and Philip didn't even notice)
  An invitation to see beyond our limitations.
  Choose to follow Jesus.
  Leave your prejudice behind.

We just finished an amazing 7-week course called "Tell the Story"
We discussed God's story, stories in the Bible, and we shared our own stories about experiences or moments when "our story" and "God's story" were breathtakingly intertwined. (Personal experiences of God at work in our lives)

In our last session, we watched "cardboard testimonies" and then made and shared our own.
(While "I love to tell the story" played in the background).

A much-needed letter of affirmation

I had an epiphany today. I got really frustrated/morally disturbed at school and actually voiced my concerns rather than waiting for someone else to. (Which didn’t go over well, much to my chagrin.)

And I thought to myself, I didn’t used to be this way. I haven’t always felt compelled to speak up when I thought something harmful was happening, especially if it meant acting alone. Even with widespread social injustices I would get upset but I would also feel like that’s just the way of the world, so why bother trying to do anything. 

But I think the kingdom of God sermon series changed my perspective. I used to believe my actions didn’t really matter—that whether I acted helpfully or harmfully, the earth was just doomed...and salvation (at some future date) would either take us elsewhere or something. I don’t even know. But my attitude was defeatist at best, regardless of what I thought of the end of days. 

Anyhow, now my working perspective is that salvation has occurred so that the work of creating the kingdom could begin and continue here and now, which means my actions do matter, which means if I see something unjust (including and especially my own behavior), I’m going to feel compelled to call it out or question it or try to change it, which means being engaged with the world, which means being more delighted and more heartbroken, which means feeling more alive.

Huh, just had another thought—is this what it means to be alive in Christ? 

*shrugs*

I realize as I’m writing this that it feels like a journal entry that’s helping me process my emotional state today, so thank you for reading it. 

And I wanted to share how important that series was for me, even though I’m only realizing it now.