The boats were full

Our Tuesday worship service has settled into a communal bible study --sort of a group lectio divina. And, since I've been reading Luke, our passage this week was Jesus' calling of the disciples on lake Gennesaret (Luke 5:1-11). I've read the passage a million times, but someone else noticed this week that the disciples left everything behind to follow Jesus. Not just the boats and nets and gear, but EVERYTHING--including the miraculously gigantic haul of fish that almost sunk the boats. It may be because artwork usually depicts the boats as empty, but I never realized that the boats left behind we're full. 

 After an exhausting and disappointing night of catching nothing (meaning no fish to eat or sell for their families) they obey Jesus and experience an incredibly successful endeavor. Fishing was their livelihood--Their business--so those boats and nets were full of profits. Success was right in front of them; 

they were going to make bank! 

And they left everything to follow Jesus. 

Now, granted, leaving a boat full of old fish might not seem great for passerbys or downwind neighbors, but what about the crowd who gathered to hear Jesus--what if they were still around? And who listened to Jesus better than the poor? (It was an 8-year-old boy named Elijah, actually, who suggested the fish could go to the poor). What if the would-be disciples landed ashore with boats full of fish and immediately encountered a hungry crowd of Jesus' poor. 

If so, then THAT is the context where Jesus said they would be fishing for people. That's the context where disciples left their profits behind to feed the poor and follow Christ. 

Segregated Heaven

A woman from my church came into the office today looking for a book. She was preparing a program for her women's circle and wanted something about a woman who faced adversity and struggled through--so I gave her Delores William's Sisters in the Wilderness. I warned her that it was a theology book and a little on the heavy side, but especially recommended the first chapter about Hagar the slave-woman from Africa. If ever a woman faced adversity, surely it was Hagar as interpreted through the lens of a black woman.

The woman, in turn, shared with me a story about a black woman who worked for her family--raising the kids and helping with laundry.

"I loved to watch her iron," she said, "because she was always singing. Worship songs, usually. 

One day, I asked her--'May? Is there a white Jesus and a black Jesus?'' 

And she said, 'no child. There's only one God--it's the same for all of us. Why?'

and I said, "because when I get to heaven, I want to be where you are."

...the woman smiled at the memory, laughed about the way that children think--and then said it wasn't all that strange of a question. In the midst of a segregated world, why wouldn't a child think about a segregated heaven? Scripture, of course, insists that--even with our differences--there's only ONE Christ and only one heaven for all of us (Ephesians 4:1-6; Galatians 3:27-28) but the injustices and systemic sins of our world can warp our view of God.

But the flip side is true too: If our heaven isn't segregated, why on earth should our world be?
I doubt that Christ has a giant wall up in heaven to separate one kind of culture from another.
...so why on earth would we build one here? Why would that even start to be a viable political question for people who are praying to make this world more like the Kingdom of God?

Water into Wine

It's been a while since I've posted anything (even though I have plenty to post--there is a ton of material from my trip to South Africa, notes/reflections from prayer stations we used for All Saints Sunday--not to mention pictures from Advent when we followed traced the story of God's presence through the entire Jesse tree)...

But this past Sunday, I preached on John 2:1-12 Jesus' miracle at the wedding in Cana (otherwise known as Jesus turning water into wine).

At first I was drawn to the servants--those who listened to Mary's words ("Do all that he tells you" she said, pointing to Christ) and their willing obedience to Jesus.
They must have drawn a LOT of water. (six stone jars holding 20-30 gallons of water, filled to the brim; that's 120 gallons on the low side. ....calculate that a gallon of water weighs about 8.5 pounds and those servants hauled over a half-ton of weight in water--On TOP of their normal duties as servants). What incredible faithfulness!! How powerful that Jesus' first miracle relied on the participation and obedience of servants.

Then I kept thinking about the miracle itself: the transformation from one substance to another. 

This particular lectionary cycle put that text in the first Sunday of ordinary time--immediately following the Baptism of Our Lord Sunday. Which meant that I was contemplating John 2 while Allen was preaching about baptism and the power of the Holy Spirit that brings transformation into our lives and the lives around us. That's the miracle of sanctification--our pursuit of holiness and Christian perfection happens by God's miracle and our participation (obedience) of that grace.

That's when I noticed the shift from water into wine foreshadows the story of Christ's ministry-- From the waters of Jordan to the wine of the last supper. from baptism to the blood of crucifixion.

So, too, does our Christian faith follow this shift from baptism to a gradual transformation into being Christ-like. Our communion prayer asks that we, like the blood of Christ, would be poured out in obedience and service to the world. And, indeed, the ACT of servant obedience and active participation in God's grace is the very means through which we are transformed and changed.

Thus my final sermon image--a call to holiness, obedience, participation and action (so that as we do everything Christ tells us to do, we would be made into the image of Christ):

Felt Board Prank (part 2: the mullet)

So, while cleaning from my birthday prank, I realized our felt board has a disturbing number of disembodied human parts:

And, more terrifying, also a mullet. A seperate, removable (addable) hair piece:

So of course I played with it:

And then we learn that God forbade the mullet:

And the people were afraid

(Animals not so much)

The end. 

Birthday Prank 2014: Felt Board Overload

One of the things I love most about my church is the team of pranksters that surprise each other (especially around birthdays). This post is super late in the making, but last year I walked in to find my office COVERED with felt board Bible characters. 

And they weren't just randomly strewn! There was some incredible attention to detail:

Things were organized by likeness:

And some of them even told new stories. Like the harem that gathered around my brother:

And ALL the people who found my theogy books so boring that they fell asleep:

And the satan worshippers who threatened the goodness of the church:

And the invredible family with superpowers (they obviously rule):

I was also quite partial of the rapture scene:

And the touch-up job they did on my photos:

Overall, it was incredible impressive! And completely touching. The latte on my desk came from a congregant. The flowers came from the staff. And that might be my new favorite shirt.

 All in all, the people I work with and do ministry with are hilarious. And I love them. And I'm blessed to be here. (And I've learned that bible stories can be creepy when you dismantle them). 

A deeply honest prayer for a man in a coma

God, he squeezed my hand last week and I almost cried with joy!
And today, he opened his eyes
..but they didn't see. didn't focus.

Is this what it's like for you to wait on your people to be faithful?
Is this how you feel about the church, sometimes?
...waiting for us to wake up?

When I heard about the accident, I thought he had died.
I thought perhaps this is peace for him--freedom from his addictions

And then, when he made it through the first couple of surgeries, I thought Lord! What an opportunity! What a great way to bring restoration and power and testimony into his life!

And then I was afraid.
What happens if he DOES wake up?
What kind of therapy will he get?
What kind of pain will he be in?
How will the rehab facilities treat a homeless man without insurance or income?

But I prayed through it, God.
You know 'cause you were there:
           at that altar with Darryl.
           praying strength and hope and faith and resurrection.
          "We know you're not done working miracles." prayed Darryl.
                                                                                                   Amen!
                                                                                                   (I echoed)


But today, staring into those blank eyes,
                    seeing his un-seeing,
                    I am shaken again.

I DID have a moment of Holy Week connection:
Is he experiencing Holy Saturday?
That middle place between death and life?
...that in-between place of not-quite and still waiting? 

If so, then it means his resurrection still coming!

I want him awake and well.

I want him to know freedom and life in the fullest.

I want him back in our church with the powerful taste of grace on his lips.

And I know that you CAN.

God almighty,
Creator and redeemer of all things,
I know that you CAN bring restoration and healing.

...I just don't know if you will.

Lord have mercy!

I'm not sure that I know the difference between lack of faith and "Your will--not mine--be done"
(because sometimes they feel the same)

...and I don't want you to tell me 'no'

I don't want to be disappointed.

Because I want resurrection my way and in my timing...

So it might be selfish. I know.

But I want him to miraculously wake up.

So I'm asking. 

Please, Lord?

Converging Thoughts On Preaching

There's a LOT going on in my head right now, so here's my attempt to delineate the intersections of influence...

---

1) I received some honest criticism about my preaching a few weeks back (from someone I really respect):

Your presentation and delivery is good, but your sermons are pretty... like mosaics with lots to see. Or like monorail tours at Disney. There's a lot to see--and you show a lot, but at some point, you need to get off the tram. Step down. Go deep.
(i.e. be more specific about the text)

--> incidentally, a different incredible person said I "spend too much time telling people what they should feel--when you should be sharing the story that encourages them to feel that way. You should trust more in the Holy Spirit. --let the seeds sink in. "  (i.e. be less specific about the text)

...So I'm not quite sure where to go with both of these, but I'm holding them. For now.

2)  I'm currently reading  Giving Blood: A Fresh Paradigm for Preaching by Leonard Sweet who remembers his mother shaking her head and muttering "there' no blood on the pulpit today" whenever the sermon was dull or void of deep life. For Sweet, preaching is metaphorical and image-driven (like I generally try to preach) but it's also deeply experiential. He likens preaching "giving blood."

...pouring yourself out. (interestingly, the notion of "pouring ourselves out to others" was one of the themes at a recent missions/ministry retreat)
Sweet says the preacher should be spent and exhausted after preaching.

3) I recently preached a "personal testimony" sermon and found the experience way more terrifying than I expected. I was wiped. For days.   
Esther (friend and fellow clergy) says this phenomenon is what Brene Brown calls a "vulnerability hangover."
[it might also be worth noting that I was hesitant about this kind of sermon. I didn't want to make the sermon about me, but I was mostly nervous that sharing a testimony from my childhood would make me seem permanently young... Allen assured me that it would not]

4) I kept reading Giving Blood and found this quote by George Bernard Shaw on preaching: “Some is like coffee, stimulates but does not nourish; some is like wine, has sparkle but no lasting value; some is like seltzer water, a big fuss over nothing; and some is like spring water—good, but hard to get!”

5) I've been listening to Nadia Boltz-Weber sermons that are incredible. OMG, they're so good!!! Deeply theological, rich with resonant biblical imagery... AND incredibly personal, open, and vulnerable. AND chock-full of current cultural/political references

In one sermon, she flat-out admits that she doesn't know what to do with the transfiguration story: 
"I did go to seminary," she says, "so I could write 1500 words about how the word glory is used in the Bible or about who Moses and Elijah were and what they likely represented to Peter James and John, but I couldn't figure out why any of that mattered to you or me…. I couldn't find anything in the text that breaks my heart."

And my thought was "oh no!! Do I do that? Are my sermons  theoretically theological without any real meat? In the words of another great quote I recently heard--are they so spiritual that they're no earthly good?

---

So I'm wrestling with this thing that I thought was my strength.
(and I'm concerned that I might simply be 'writing pretty words' that sparkle)
(or that my natural energy level and preaching style stimulates, but doesn't transform)

 

 ...and I've come at least to this conclusion:

I want to preach good sermons.
Good, deep, bold, biblical proclamations
Not for my glory or remembrance...
(honestly. Jim Cymbala's Fresh Wind Fresh Fire already challenged me on that; the difference between worship leaders who 'entertain' and get accolades and worship services that genuinely make space for people to experience God.)
...but because I genuinely want God's people to encounter grace and transformation. 

So I'm praying for that.

For all of that.